I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
