I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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