it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
