Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Randomize
