i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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