Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
