By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
