I should be sponsored by Trojan
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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