There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
