Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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