What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
