these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize