By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
