btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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