she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
