Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
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Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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