So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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