and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
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I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
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I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
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