Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
