I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
