some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
