You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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