so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
