she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We got so high we made milksteak
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
