Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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