Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
