OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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