Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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