I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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