nut hugger
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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