he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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