she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
