What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
