Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
