And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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