$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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