Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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