i would punch a child for taco bell
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
