im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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