I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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