Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Be still, my beating vagina.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
