who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
