i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
someone owes me an orgasm
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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