I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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