Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
