It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
