he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize