Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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