So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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