his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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