everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
