Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
