Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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