I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
