new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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