Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
