Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
