are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
