You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
