I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
