Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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