i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
