3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
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i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
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I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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