I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize