I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
