I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
